Welcome to  Living Fabulous,  a series of writings and reflections on being  bisexual  and  my hopes for  a kinder gentler world for bisexuals and those who love us.  I  also identify as bigender and  gender fluid  and I have included information about variations in our  gender identity as well. While gender and sexual orientation are two distinct aspects of  who we are there is a  subset  of bisexuals such as myself  who also have variations in  gender identity which is why I discuss  bigender, gender fluid, and androgynous gender diversity  and bisexual sexual orientation here. We have discovered that often sexual orientation and gender identity  exist somewhere in between straight/gay and male/female and this is a site that celebrates that diversity.

Talking and writing about  my bisexual orientation and bigender gender  identity  is  extremely personal in nature and some of what I share here is not something that is usually shared in public  but I have discovered that many people  don’t understand bisexuality or variations in gender identity, in fact I often hear that I am the only bisexual my friends know.    My hope is that by becoming visible, sharing the story of my journey,  and  helping others get to know us that acceptance and understanding will follow and our world will become  a kinder gentler place.

 Mixed-Orientation Marriages and  Relationships.

I believe bisexuals in mixed-orientation marriages and relationships can have wonderful vibrant relationships just like everyone else.   Couples who have recently discovered their own mixed- orientation marriage or who are in search of a positive discussion of mixed-orientation relationships may be interested in reading the free  EBook Mixed Orientation Marriage Pathways to Success   or the shorter Introduction to Mixed-orientation marriages at mixedorientation.com

Spreading the Bisexual and  Living Fabulously Message.

The potential joy  bisexuals can experience living their lives  openly and authentically with the ones they love is so great that I have made it my mission to make it easier for all who follow.  I am available to present workshops and guest lectures as well as facilitate small group discussions on the dynamics of  variations of sexual orientation and our relationships with a pathways to success model  to groups, human sexuality conferences and college campuses in New England.   If you are in the profession of counseling bisexuals or couples in mixed-orientation relationships I am happy to discuss with you my pathways to success bisexual inclusiveness approach to living life.  Contact me for more information at mark@livingfabulous.org

The History of Livingfabulous.org

When I came of age in the late sixties I embraced and celebrated with joy my  bisexuality and my androgynous gender identity but unfortunately society wasn’t ready for me,  there was no path I could see to live my life with any kind of  acceptance or love so like many in my generation I headed deep into the closet and for 25 years lived life as the heterosexual male I was told was my only choice.

On March 5th  of 2007 I decided to start living my life as the bigender bisexual I was born as and this wonderful  journey began.    The  content of livingfabulous.org started out as a private journal  to share with a few friends the story of  my second journey out of the closet as a  bisexual.  I did this to start a conversation, I wanted people who knew me to learn more about bisexuals  and bisexuality as well as about what it meant to be bigender.  I felt that by sharing my story perhaps  my friends would  better understand what it means to live with variations in sexual orientation and gender identity and with that understanding would come acceptance.

As people started to hear my story they encouraged me to share it more widely to help others like me who would follow.  I experimented with sharing on Facebook but the way Facebook pushes out content meant even my friends and family who didn’t want to hear about bisexuality had it in their news  feed.   Instead of becoming the  bisexual  “One time in band camp” person on Facebook  I created livingfabulous.org  .  This simple change means that people mindfully come here to learn more about what its like to be bisexual or bigender.   I have been deeply moved by the number of  people who have written me with kind comments  over the years as a result of hearing my stories and reading my reflections. Some old friends have become better friends and I have met new wonderful friends as well.

The grammatically correct name for our site  would be  “Living Fabulously”  but the site got its name from the fact that the use of the word “fabulous”  by men when I  grew up  was long regarded as a “sign”  that perhaps we were not straight  and  was avoided lest we be written up by the “real men don’t say fabulous police” So for me  living  “fabulous”  makes a  symbolic point of the opening the closet door and not caring what people think when I use the word “fabulous.”. Proving to the world that real men do use the word fabulous especially this bigender bisexual one.

On this journey I have learned a lot, especially about mixed-orientation marriages.  In my own marriage I learned I could remain happily married to my wife, soulmate and best friend AND be bisexual, who knew?  One sure could not tell that was as option from most of the other sites out there.  And it sure wasn’t an option the first time I came out in the 1970s.

One person at a time, the world is getting better for bisexuals and for mixed-orientation couples.  People are afraid of what they do not understand when they pull up a chair and chat a spell they learn bisexuals are normal everyday people.

This site is quieter now  and I dont post as often because part of the process of coming out and identity development is we eventually get good at being who we are, my bisexuality and bigender self have become just another wonderful part of the rich tapestry of me and   I have settled into my “living fabulous”  life. For now the content at livingfabulous.org  will remain in the hope it helps others.  I will be forever grateful for the support, acceptance and words of encouragement from my wife,  friends and family.

Each day is better than the last,   life is amazing beyond my wildest dreams, and I get to celebrate each day as the real me,  bigender and bisexual and living fabulous.  Thank you for stopping by.