Celebrating Bisexuality and Gender Diversity
Bisexuals living fabulous lives full of happiness and love really are a thing. Married, partnered or single, bisexuals can have happy rewarding relationships with their husbands, wives, partners ,family and friends . Being bisexual is something to celebrate yet the message many bisexuals hear from society each and every day is something other than love. I hope as people learn more about what it means to be bisexual that attitudes will change and it will become easier for bisexuals to live their lives as the person they were created to be.
Helping people better understand bisexuality and variations in gender identity has been a passion of mine since I taught my first college human relations and sexuality discussion group back in 1976. My lifetime interest in variations in sexual orientation and how bisexuality can affect relationships with those we love has motivated me to share what I have learned to help make this a kinder, gentler world for all who follow. I prefer the dynamics of one-on-one conversations but for now I will keep some of my more popular articles written over the years here.
Bi Week 2017 - September 17-23,2017 and Celebrate Bisexuality Day September 23,2017
It is that time of year when bisexuals and all those who fall under the Bi+ umbrella and those who love us make an extra effort to spread the news that one can be bisexual and still be a fabulous person. Being bisexual is a precious gift full of joy but also has challenges. We live in a society with mixed messages towards LGBTQ people with far too many being treated as unwelcome misfits.
In my own journey I grew up fascinated by the fact that no matter what my friends gender I was interested. This awareness happened to me early enough in life that I literally thought everyone was bisexual, then I went to highschool and was told in no uncertain terms you may not be gay and you certainly may not be bi . I fought the tide, experimented with being bisexual in college but in the end in the 1970’s I didn't feel there was any sort of pathway to lead life as the bisexual I was born as and so like many of my generation - into the safety of the closet I went . The closet is not a healthy place. While some religions may teach that a life of sacrifice and suffering is the only proper way to live, I believe God created us to celebrate life and to be happy.
Ten years ago with a more open and encouraging society the shame lifted, I flung the closet doors open and started truly living as the person I was created to be. The world didn't come to an end, I am still happily married to my wife and soulmate and best friend, in fact each day I am more in love with her than the last. I have received way more shared happiness than , “what the heck?”, It turns out when friends and family love us they are happy when we are happy no matter if we are bisexual, gay , or straight. Friends want their friends to be happy, its what friends do. More than once people I meet have told me I am the happiest person they know . That's pretty much right, when one contrasts where I have been with the joys that greet each day it's easy to see why I am so happy. I know there is more to be done to make our world kinder and gentler for bisexuals but change happens one person at a time. When people get to know us they can love us.
To those who say we don’t have a celebrate being straight day or week, it's not the same, you have always been able to be you, you never woke up ashamed of who you are, you never woke up feeling like your life depended upon protecting the secret of being straight, no one ever got beat up, teased or killed for being straight. To be free of that is truly something to celebrate. My days are full of happiness and joy simply being able to be me. I am blessed to experience this acceptance and understanding, so many of my LGBTQ friends have not experience their epiphany yet, they still live in fear and shame. Bi visibility means I get to meet others like me, Bi visibility means I can share the joys of living life so perhaps others will feel comfortable doing the same. There is also a social justice piece to celebrating bisexuality. We need to make our world a kinder gentler place for those who follow. Bisexuals need to love and be loved just as much as everyone it is my hope their dreams will come true too.
History of Livingfabulous.org
When I came of age in the late sixties I embraced and celebrated with joy my bisexuality and my androgynous gender identity but unfortunately society wasn’t ready for me, there was no path I could see to live my life with any kind of acceptance or love so like many in my generation I headed deep into the closet and for 25 years lived life as the heterosexual male I was told was my only choice.
On March 5th of 2007 I decided to start living my life as the bigender bisexual I was born as and this wonderful journey began. The content of livingfabulous.org started out as a private journal to share with a few friends the story of my second journey out of the closet as a bisexual. I did this to start a conversation, I wanted people who knew me to learn more about bisexuals and bisexuality as well as about what it meant to be bigender. I felt that by sharing my story perhaps my friends would better understand what it means to live with variations in sexual orientation and gender identity and with that understanding would come acceptance.
As people started to hear my story they encouraged me to share it more widely to help others like me who would follow. I experimented with sharing on Facebook but the way Facebook pushes out content meant even my friends and family who didn’t want to hear about bisexuality had it in their news feed. Instead of becoming the bisexual “One time in band camp” person on Facebook I created livingfabulous.org . This simple change means that people mindfully come here to learn more about what its like to be bisexual or bigender. I have been deeply moved by the number of people who have written me with kind comments over the years as a result of hearing my stories and reading my reflections. Some old friends have become better friends and I have met new wonderful friends as well.
The grammatically correct name for our site would be “Living Fabulously” but the site got its name from the fact that the use of the word “fabulous” by men when I grew up was long regarded as a “sign” that perhaps we were not straight and was avoided lest we be written up by the “real men don’t say fabulous police” So for me living “fabulous” makes a symbolic point of the opening the closet door and not caring what people think when I use the word “fabulous.”. Proving to the world that real men do use the word fabulous especially this bigender bisexual one.
On this journey I have learned a lot, especially about mixed-orientation marriages. In my own marriage I learned I could remain happily married to my wife, soulmate and best friend AND be bisexual, who knew? One sure could not tell that was as option from most of the other sites out there. And it sure wasn’t an option the first time I came out in the 1970s.
One person at a time, the world is getting better for bisexuals and for mixed-orientation couples. People are afraid of what they do not understand when they pull up a chair and chat a spell they learn bisexuals are normal everyday people.
This site is quieter now and I dont post as often because part of the process of coming out and identity development is we eventually get good at being who we are, my bisexuality and bigender self have become just another wonderful part of the rich tapestry of me and I have settled into my “living fabulous” life. For now I will keep a featured posts section in the hope something in here helps others. I will be forever grateful for the support, acceptance and words of encouragement from my wife, friends and family.
Each day is better than the last, life is amazing beyond my wildest dreams, and I get to celebrate each day as the real me, bigender and bisexual and living fabulous. Thank you for stopping by.
Selections From My Journal - Miscellaneous informal personal posts, comments and reflections.