Welcome to Living Fabulous, a series of writings and reflections on being bisexual and my hopes for a kinder gentler world for bisexuals and those who love us. I also identify as bigender and gender fluid and I have included information about variations in our gender identity as well. While gender and sexual orientation are two distinct aspects of who we are there is a subset of bisexuals such as myself who also have variations in gender identity which is why I discuss bigender, gender fluid, and androgynous gender diversity and bisexual sexual orientation here. We have discovered that often sexual orientation and gender identity exist somewhere in between straight/gay and male/female and this is a site that celebrates that diversity.
Talking and writing about my bisexual orientation and bigender gender identity is extremely personal in nature and some of what I share here is not something that is usually shared in public but I have discovered that many people don’t understand bisexuality or variations in gender identity, in fact I often hear that I am the only bisexual my friends know. My hope is that by becoming visible, sharing the story of my journey, and helping others get to know us that acceptance and understanding will follow and our world will become a kinder gentler place.
Mixed-Orientation Marriages and Relationships.
I believe bisexuals in mixed-orientation marriages and relationships can have wonderful vibrant relationships just like everyone else. Couples who have recently discovered their own mixed- orientation marriage or who are in search of a positive discussion of mixed-orientation relationships may be interested in reading the free EBook Mixed Orientation Marriage Pathways to Success or the shorter Introduction to Mixed-orientation marriages at mixedorientation.com
Spreading the Bisexual and Living Fabulously Message.
The potential joy bisexuals can experience living their lives openly and authentically with the ones they love is so great that I have made it my mission to make it easier for all who follow. I am available to present workshops and guest lectures as well as facilitate small group discussions on the dynamics of variations of sexual orientation and our relationships with a pathways to success model to groups, human sexuality conferences and college campuses in New England. If you are in the profession of counseling bisexuals or couples in mixed-orientation relationships I am happy to discuss with you my pathways to success bisexual inclusiveness approach to living life. Contact me for more information at firstname.lastname@example.org
The History of Livingfabulous.org
When I came of age in the late sixties I embraced and celebrated with joy my bisexuality and my androgynous gender identity but unfortunately society wasn’t ready for me, there was no path I could see to live my life with any kind of acceptance or love so like many in my generation I headed deep into the closet and for 25 years lived life as the heterosexual male I was told was my only choice.
On March 5th of 2007 I decided to start living my life as the bigender bisexual I was born as and this wonderful journey began. The content of livingfabulous.org started out as a private journal to share with a few friends the story of my second journey out of the closet as a bisexual. I did this to start a conversation, I wanted people who knew me to learn more about bisexuals and bisexuality as well as about what it meant to be bigender. I felt that by sharing my story perhaps my friends would better understand what it means to live with variations in sexual orientation and gender identity and with that understanding would come acceptance.
As people started to hear my story they encouraged me to share it more widely to help others like me who would follow. I experimented with sharing on Facebook but the way Facebook pushes out content meant even my friends and family who didn’t want to hear about bisexuality had it in their news feed. Instead of becoming the bisexual “One time in band camp” person on Facebook I created livingfabulous.org . This simple change means that people mindfully come here to learn more about what its like to be bisexual or bigender. I have been deeply moved by the number of people who have written me with kind comments over the years as a result of hearing my stories and reading my reflections. Some old friends have become better friends and I have met new wonderful friends as well.
The grammatically correct name for our site would be “Living Fabulously” but the site got its name from the fact that the use of the word “fabulous” by men when I grew up was long regarded as a “sign” that perhaps we were not straight and was avoided lest we be written up by the “real men don’t say fabulous police” So for me living “fabulous” makes a symbolic point of the opening the closet door and not caring what people think when I use the word “fabulous.”. Proving to the world that real men do use the word fabulous especially this bigender bisexual one.
On this journey I have learned a lot, especially about mixed-orientation marriages. In my own marriage I learned I could remain happily married to my wife, soulmate and best friend AND be bisexual, who knew? One sure could not tell that was as option from most of the other sites out there. And it sure wasn’t an option the first time I came out in the 1970s.
One person at a time, the world is getting better for bisexuals and for mixed-orientation couples. People are afraid of what they do not understand when they pull up a chair and chat a spell they learn bisexuals are normal everyday people.
This site is quieter now and I dont post as often because part of the process of coming out and identity development is we eventually get good at being who we are, my bisexuality and bigender self have become just another wonderful part of the rich tapestry of me and I have settled into my “living fabulous” life. For now the content at livingfabulous.org will remain in the hope it helps others. I will be forever grateful for the support, acceptance and words of encouragement from my wife, friends and family.
Each day is better than the last, life is amazing beyond my wildest dreams, and I get to celebrate each day as the real me, bigender and bisexual and living fabulous. Thank you for stopping by.