Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator - Relationship Options for a Tapestry of Sexualities..

Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life is a  new book and resource by Amy Gahran for couples in a mixed-orientation marriage or relationships.  While Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator was not written specifically for mixed-orientation couples if ever there was a type of relationship that needed examples of alternative relationship pathways to success it is a mixed- orientation marriage.

Couples in mixed-orientation marriages and relationships often find challenges fitting into the standard relationship and marriage model of our society.  One reason for these challenges is we do not have a whole lot of role models for mixed-orientation marriages. In other words many of us cannot look around our neighborhood, friends or family and see a few dozen bisexuals in nontraditional relationships and say “That’s it! That’s the kind of relationship I want.”   The only relationship model most of us see is the one  Amy Gahran calls the “relationship escalator.” The escalator relationship resembles the only relationship model I grew up with which was; meet a girlfriend or boyfriend of the opposite gender, fall in love, they become “the one”, then we marry, we live in the house with the picket fence and two cats in the window and live happily ever after just like Ozzie and Harriet in the 50’s television series. Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life by Amy Gahran examines the structure of all kinds of relationship variations with hundreds of different examples of how we can make our relationships work.

Many couples in mixed-orientation marriages try and fit their complicated needs into a one size fits all  relationship model and then discover that does not work very well.  Part of the making mixed-orientation marriages work process often includes looking at other options to the pathway they are already on. I have found it can be helpful to read the stories of other couples as sort of a buffet of options, the “hey I could see that working for me” or” I want one of those too”. It can also be helpful for the straight spouse to see examples of how other couples fit complex relationship needs into their relationships. In addition to hundreds of example relationships Amy Grahan’s  book does a lot compare and contrast between relationship styles which helps identify which particular relationship style might work best for your personality , sexuality and relationship preferences.

In reading Off the Escalator  I found myself getting really excited to hear others who thought the same way about relationships as I do. I call these the “me toos” and “I understands” that is the idea that others have gone through the same thing can really help us in accepting our own lives and relationship needs.

The challenge with a book like this is there will be large sections that may not apply to you or your relationship that requires that you read this book with a different mindset than an adventure novel. This is not a novel it is a resource, part of our relationship toolbox.. You won’t know what might work for you or be your aha moment until you read it.  A common element of support is take what you can use and leave behind the rest.  I believe there is enough useful information here to make it well worth the investment in time and money.    I think Off the Escalator is a great resource for anyone who has the need to look at a wide variety of relationship models.  I was especially pleased to see many of the concepts that I discuss in my writings in  Mixed Orientation Marriage Pathways to Success validated in Amy Gahrans book. The language to describe them may be different but the concepts are the same.  Mixed- orientation relationships are complicated and we need every resource we can find which is  why I recommend Amy’s Book.  I also like the extensive coverage of kindness and acting ethically in our relationships. "It's complicated" can still be kind and honest. Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life  is available now for the Amazon Kindle.

More information is available at https://offescalator.com/